We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
