There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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