I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
