the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
