yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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