with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
