No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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