billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
