We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
