brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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