He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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