After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
