im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
