were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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