Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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