He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
