Its about making memories worth repressing
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
