I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sober January is a disaster.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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