New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
