hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
