That's when you crack a 10am beer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
