I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
