I got chris browned last night
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
