I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
