so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
