i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
