Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
