it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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