just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
