Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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