we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I understand Curling. That high.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
