i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I smell like Dick and happiness
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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