He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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