you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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