the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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