He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
