i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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