I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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