Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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