you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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