Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
