i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
