Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
