Dignity is for republicans.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
