Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
