i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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