What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
