Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i think i just lost a toe
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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