Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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