just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
this hospital has no fireball
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
