I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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