The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
