Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
