I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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