hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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